sharon kay

hello blog. i'm sitting with terribly poor posture over my keyboard, somewhat drunk from my extra large plastic cup full of delicious cosmopolitan martini...mmmmm. maybe not such a great way to honor my aunt who died friday night considering she was an alcoholic, however, i needed something to loosen up my too tightly-wound mind. auntie, auntie...why did your life have to end this way? why couldn't it be like it used to be...summer fun with us all lounging around the pool, you so full of life and love. why did it have to change? i'm so sorry that life didn't turn out how you wanted it then, i'm sorry that you couldn't find the strength. i'm sorry for your children, for your grandchildren, for your dad, brother and sister. i'm just sorry, and sad.

if your soul is still in the process of rising, auntie, i pray that it is a peaceful journey, that you have angels all around you assisting you in your rise to heaven.

i'm sorry i didn't come see you in the hospital before, when you were so sick. i was afraid, i didn't want to see you withered away and so very different from how i wish to remember you. i know it was selfish and i hope you forgive me. i'm glad i did have the chance to see you since then, though. now, however, i will see you one last time on wednesday, and it will be to say goodbye. goodbye to your body, but not goodbye to your spirit because i know it will be here. i am glad you will be with your mom, i hope you will be joyful to be together. grandma, it seems you've been gone my whole life...